To Hope Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 3) Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  A note from the author

  Preview: Single Wide Female (a fun chick lit series with FREE book)

  Preview: Lifeguards and Liars (a cozy mystery)

  Other Titles

  Legal Notice

  Forty and Free

  (Book 3)

  To Hope Again

  A Sweet Romance

  By

  Lillianna Blake

  & Maci Grant

  Copyright © 2016 Lillianna Blake

  Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers

  All rights reserved.

  Chapter 1

  Jillian trailed her fingertip through the cool water in the fountain she sat beside. The soothing sound of the cascading water reminded her just how lucky she was to have created her own peaceful space.

  When she’d first purchased the house, it had been a risk. She’d been just out of a relationship and reliant only on her own income. It had been a little overwhelming to her at the time to think of owning her home rather than renting, but it didn’t take long before she’d begun to savor the idea of having something that was just hers.

  She’d filled her home with things that had meaning to her—memories of the best experiences in her life. Every little detail had a purpose—to remind her that her life was good, that there was always a reason to smile.

  Her house had become her favorite place to be. Even a vacation to a tropical paradise wasn’t more enticing to her than her own home. In fact, no matter where she went on vacation, it wasn’t until she returned home that she felt complete relief and comfort again.

  As content as she was, though, she’d also begun to feel a bit bored.

  Everything was just fine. Her career as a life coach was doing very well. Her soul was nourished by regular relaxation and meditation. She had a wide network of friends that she often engaged in friendly debate and deep conversations. Yet, she found herself feeling a little unsettled.

  Nothing was wrong, but something wasn’t quite right.

  She stood up from the stone bench beside the fountain and stretched out her arms. As her muscles began to unwind and relax, she released a long breath. Above her, several black birds flew across the puffy white clouds. The moment was perfect and she took the time to savor it.

  The loud rumble that suddenly filled her ears could have been thunder, but it was followed by an unmistakable beep of a horn. Her entire body jumped at the sound. She must have been more relaxed than she’d thought.

  Curious, she walked around the side of her house to see a large moving truck backed up into the driveway. Her house, and the house beside it, shared one long driveway that led from the road and then branched out into two individual driveways. It left the houses far removed from the road. She knew that the house next door had been up for sale before she’d left for vacation, but she hadn’t realized that it must have sold while she’d been gone.

  A rush of excitement drove her forward as she wondered who might be moving in. Two men, wearing uniforms that matched the name of the company on the truck, were busy unloading boxes.

  She scanned the contents that were being moved out of the truck. Was it a couple? Did they have kids? Pets?

  “I can be a little nosy.” She smiled to herself. Why not? They were going to be neighbors, after all. The sooner they got to know one another, the better.

  She saw a couch, a recliner, and a bed being carried off the truck. There was nothing to indicate that there were children in the home. Then she noticed a bicycle, followed by a kayak. She smiled at the sight of that. She had a kayak too. But she noticed that there was only one of each. Was it possible that someone single had moved in? She couldn’t be sure, but she thought it was likely.

  She immediately hoped it would be a woman, maybe someone she could bond with over tea in the morning and good music in the evenings. She noticed what might have been a guitar case being carried off of the truck.

  A commanding voice drew her attention toward the door of the house. “Be careful with that! I told you not to put it inside the truck! It was supposed to go up front. It better not be damaged!”

  She followed the deep, rough voice to see the man it belonged to. The first thought that struck her was just how beautiful he was. That wasn’t unusual for her. She saw beauty in most people. But in his case, the mop of unruly brown waves on the top of his head, combined with the slight pout of his full lips, made her take a sharp breath.

  He was clearly irritated, but she didn’t judge him for that. Moving was one of the most stressful things a person could do.

  She was a bit disappointed that it appeared to be a man who’d moved in next door to her. She was sure that they’d still get along, even if at the moment, he seemed quite angry.

  “Are you going to get the rest of the boxes?” He barked the question at two men in uniforms who were walking away from the truck.

  “We’re taking a little break. We’ll get it done, don’t worry.” The taller of the movers flashed a smile at him and then walked over to his partner, who sat on the low stone wall that framed the driveway of the house.

  “This is ridiculous. I’ll do it myself!” With long determined strides, the man stalked toward the truck.

  Jillian was fascinated by the fluid motion of his body. She assumed he might be some kind of athlete, as he had the strength to haul the boxes off the truck without hesitation. She considered waving, but it didn’t feel like the right moment.

  She watched as, one by one, he carried boxes off the truck and in through the front door. His muscles flexed under the taut red shirt he wore. He was someone who took care of himself, at least physically.

  A moment later the movers started to help.

  “Oh, you’re ready to pitch in? Great. Maybe you could try not to break anything?”

  Jillian pursed her lips. She understood his frustration, but he seemed to be taking it a bit far. She despised anyone who bullied others, and she was really trying not to think the worst about her new handsome neighbor.

  She watched as the man paused in front of the house and looked up at it. His posture displayed tension in every area of his body. His jaw locked and quivered.

  As his emotions were on open display, she became aware of how deeply she may have invaded his privacy. He didn’t expect anyone to be watching him, yet she couldn’t seem to look away. Anger was something she tended to avoid, but in that moment—the way he wore it—she couldn’t bring herself to look away. It was like the collision of a mighty wind with a solid mountain—harsh, rough, and impenetrable. It was powerful, despite the potential darkness of its roots.

  She considered the fact th
at she might have to spend some time in meditation about the fact that she was so drawn to his fury. It had been some time since she’d been drawn to any man.

  She slipped away before he could spot her spying on him. The last thing Jillian wanted was to get off on the wrong foot with her new neighbor.

  Chapter 2

  Mateo Williams stared up at the house in front of him and tried to get control of his anger. His heart slammed against his chest. His mind was fogged with the desire to lash out at someone, anyone. He hated the way he felt, and yet that hatred only fed into the anger.

  The house seemed to be staring back at him. It was everything he’d once dreamed about and now it seemed to be mocking him.

  This was the house that they would have had their first anniversary in. They’d planned to have a family, to get a dog, to do everything that he thought they were supposed to do—to build a life together. But with one stroke of a pen, she’d changed all that.

  He closed his eyes as he recalled the moment that Kate had told him she wanted a divorce.

  They’d started out with couple’s counseling—a way to strengthen their relationship, she’d claimed. Only he’d started to notice a theme in their sessions. It was always his fault—he had a temper, he didn’t communicate, he wasn’t available.

  Then it was over. She refused to even consider alternative options.

  On his knees, he’d begged her in one of the most shameful moments of his life. His blood still boiled at the memory of her back as she’d turned away from him. He wished he could destroy everything that reminded him of her.

  But he’d already bought the house, and it was too soon to resell. So she got their apartment, and he had to move. Now he faced a reminder of his mistake, and would continue to, every single day.

  Not only was it excruciating, but the amount of repairs and renovation he’d have to do to be able to resell the house was going to take a lot of time. He was determined not to sink any more money into the property than he already had. With only himself and time on his hands, he was going to do as much of the work himself as possible.

  He turned back to the movers. With the looks they were giving him, he could tell that they weren’t pleased to be working with him. He didn’t really blame them. He was constantly on the edge of an angry outburst.

  “Make sure you put the tools in the garage. Where’s the ladder?”

  “I put it in the shed behind the house,” one of the movers replied.

  “Why would you put it all the way back there? Get it and put in the garage.”

  The man glowered at Mateo, but Mateo ignored him. He had to find a way to calm down. He took a deep breath of the fresh air.

  When he’d first seen the house, he’d fallen in love with the location. The house could have been a shack, and he still would have bought it. He’d envisioned himself out on the lake in his kayak. He expected to go fishing and hiking, and maybe even do some rock climbing at some nearby parks.

  What he hadn’t expected was that he’d be doing those things alone. Now all the things that he’d found beautiful and exciting about the house were just salt in his wounds.

  He growled under his breath and turned away from the house. As he did, he caught sight of a woman near the property line of his front yard. Her blonde hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, her eyes were wide and inquisitive.

  “Just what I need, a nosy neighbor.” He frowned and looked back at the house.

  It would take him a long time, but once it was done, he’d sell the house and have the memory of it and his ex gone forever. If only he could get through the next few weeks without losing it, he was sure that he’d survive—at least he hoped that he would.

  He stepped into the garage and walked over to the bicycle that leaned up against the wall. He hadn’t taken it out for a ride in some time. There were a lot of things that had been put on pause as he’d arranged his future with his wife. Nothing had pleased her.

  He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Sometimes the anger was strong enough that he thought he might explode. He pushed away the avalanche of thoughts about what might have been and drew in a deep breath in an attempt to control the fury that threatened to surface. He had to remain in control.

  He pulled the bicycle out of the garage. “I’m going for a ride. If you finish up before I’m back, just lock up.”

  “Will do.” One of the movers nodded.

  It crossed his mind that they could take anything they pleased, but he didn’t have much for them to steal.

  He hopped onto his bicycle and began to ride.

  Another thing he liked about the area was the multitude of well-marked bicycle paths. There were no cars competing with him for a slice of pavement. This allowed him to pump his legs as hard and fast as he could. The more wind that hit his face, the more his frustration subsided. If only he could keep going until everything that burdened him was nothing more then a blip in the distance, maybe then he could be the person he’d once been.

  Memories tangled together in his mind—sharp words, slammed doors, broken dishes. Somehow between the time he’d met her and the time everything had ended, he’d turned into a monster—a man that he didn’t even recognize with emotions that he couldn’t seem to control. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

  Maybe she’d been right. Maybe he had become the terrible person she’d accused him of being. Despite the hurt he felt that she’d left him, it went deeper than that. He wondered if everything she said about him was true, and he was just too blind to see it.

  One thing he was sure of—he’d never allow anyone to dictate his life and choices again. He had no intention of ever allowing another person into his heart.

  Chapter 3

  Even after she walked away, Jillian could hear him as he barked out orders. Her stomach tightened in reaction to the anger in his voice. She vowed to do her best not to get rattled by the commotion next door. It might be interesting to have a new neighbor, but she had a daily schedule she’d always stuck to.

  In the mornings, she repeated her affirmations before she even got out of bed. She set her intentions for the day and tried to remain in a peaceful accepting state. She found that this approach to life allowed her to succeed in just about everything she set her mind to.

  As the afternoon light began to wane, Jillian prepared for meditation by changing into a loose flowing white gown. She preferred not to have anything restrictive on, so that she wouldn’t be reminded of the physical world while she meditated.

  She settled into her favorite meditation spot. It was a high window with a wide windowsill. The view overlooked the lake, and as the late afternoon sunlight spilled through the glass and warmed her body, she often felt as if she was fully connected with nature.

  She settled comfortably on the windowsill. She noticed the new neighbor on his bicycle as he rode toward his house. The moving truck appeared to be gone. Now things would be calm, she assumed. It would be a good time to meditate.

  She took a deep breath and began to release all the tension she’d gathered in her body throughout the day. Muscle by muscle her body relaxed. She was so accustomed to doing this that she didn’t have to think about it.

  As the tension fell away, a warmth billowed up within her. It was familiar and as comforting as a hug. She drew in another long deep breath and her body felt as if it had expanded beyond her lungs.

  She was just about to draw another breath, when the shrill sound of a drill disrupted the comfortable silence she’d settled into. Her eyes flew open. Her entire body grew tense.

  “Okay, it’s just a drill. Outside sounds will happen.” She refocused on her meditation. She began to release the tension in her body once again.

  When she drew her first cleansing breath, she nearly bit her tongue in response to loud blows of a hammer. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times. It sounded like the hammer was right outside her window.

  A moment later the hammer blows were replaced by a string of curses. It wasn
’t as if she expected no one around her to curse, but it certainly wasn’t a good background for meditation. She’d spent a lot of time removing negative self-talk and words that held negative connotations from her vocabulary. The sudden invasion of ugly words was jarring to her.

  “Fine, this is just not the right time. I can move my meditation time today.”

  As Jillian stood up from the window, she was curious about what her new neighbor was up to. She stepped out onto the balcony to take a look.

  She was startled to find that he was on a ladder across from where she stood. His shirt was on the ground and his bare back flexed as he swung the hammer. There was enough distance that she thought she might not get caught, but her heart lurched as she realized that with one look over his shoulder he would see her there.

  She started to step back away from the railing. As she moved, her foot knocked into one of the flowerpots that lined the balcony. The pot clanged against the metal bars. She took a sharp breath and looked up in the same moment that he turned his head toward the sound.

  His gaze appeared to collide with hers. A sharp shiver of anticipation raced up her spine. Did he see her?

  As he continued to stare, she was certain that he did. Would he introduce himself? Would he demand to know why she was watching him? He held her gaze for what felt like an eternity. She couldn’t bring herself to look away.

  Then, as if he couldn’t be bothered, he looked back at the gutter. He didn’t speak, didn’t smile, didn’t even apologize for all the noise or his language. He just ignored her.

  As he began to hammer again, she turned and walked back inside from the balcony. Of all his possible responses, she didn’t expect to be ignored. It was clear to her that he was not a friendly person.

  “It’s important to be flexible.” She spoke the reminder out loud so that she would believe it better as she stepped back into her bedroom.

  The thought of flexibility reminded her that she should get a little yoga in before she went for her evening walk along the lake. She headed back downstairs to the living room and got out her yoga mat. She decided to do just some easy stretching, since her nerves were a little rattled.