Toddler in Tow (Single Wide Female & Family #3) Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

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  Other Titles

  Legal Notice

  Single Wide Female & Family

  (Book 3)

  Toddler in Tow

  By

  Lillianna Blake

  Copyright © 2016 Lillianna Blake

  Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers

  All rights reserved.

  LilliannaBlake.com

  Chapter 1

  “Abby, you put that down right this second!”

  I ran as fast as I could toward my three-year-old, who was holding my laptop in her hands.

  Abby froze and looked over her shoulder at me. She stared hard into my eyes and raised the laptop high above her head.

  “Mine!”

  “No! It’s mine!” I stomped my foot on the floor and held out my hand for it.

  “Mine!” She stomped her foot right back at me and stuck out her tongue.

  “Put that tongue back in your mouth!” I growled.

  Abby burst into tears and held out the computer.

  The moment I saw the big tears roll down her cheeks, my heart shattered. I took the laptop from her hands and crouched down in front of her. “This is Mommy’s and it’s very important. You can’t touch.”

  “Sorry, Mommy.” She cried even louder.

  I sighed and pulled her into my arms.

  Lately she was either getting into mischief or dissolving into tears. It didn’t matter if she was laughing the moment before; her mood would shift ever so fast. When we’d sailed through the twos, I was certain that we were in good shape to get through the toddler years.

  When Abby had turned three, however, everything changed. My precious little angel with her loose blonde curls and bright blue eyes had transformed into a demanding, impatient, overly sensitive creature that I didn’t recognize.

  “Maybe you’re just tired. You want to take a little nap with me?”

  “No nap!” She shrieked right beside my ear.

  “Okay, okay, no nap.” I rolled my eyes. “Do you need to go potty?”

  “No.” She stuck out her bottom lip.

  “Want to read a book?”

  “No!”

  “Want to play a game?”

  “No!”

  “Want to blow bubbles?”

  “No! No! No!”

  “Can you say yes?”

  “No!”

  “Ugh.” I rubbed my forehead and looked at my little girl. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a nap?”

  “I’m not tired!” she moaned and flung herself backwards in my arms.

  It was all I could do to keep from dropping her.

  “Alright, let’s do this then.” I turned on the television and flipped to one of her favorite shows.

  As she flopped down in front of it, my stomach churned with guilt.

  I’d told myself that I wouldn’t let the television babysit my daughter, that I’d introduce her to the beauty of everything in life and we would spend long days out in nature. I would introduce her to technology as needed and never for entertainment.

  But there she was, finally happy, watching a big pink rhino jump around in circles.

  I cringed as I crept over to my chair and opened my computer. Instead of checking e-mails, I should be practicing Spanish with her, or even teaching her to read. But she didn’t want any of that. She wanted the big pink rhino.

  I skimmed through my e-mail and spotted one from one of my biggest fan groups. When I clicked on it. I found a petition had been started to get me to do another book tour, only this time in the United States. The very thought jolted me out of the song that the pink rhino was singing.

  That’s right. I am a writer and I have readers all over the world.

  Often, I needed to remind myself of that these days.

  I recalled the first book tour I’d traveled on with Max. It had been an amazing journey that had allowed me to meet wonderful people and experience unique places. That was the kind of adventure I wanted to share with my daughter.

  I looked up to see her still entranced by the pink rhino on the television screen.

  Beside me I spotted her pink blanket and decided to give it one more shot. I draped the blanket over me and jumped in front of her.

  “Hi, Abby!” I jumped in circles just like the big pink rhino on the television.

  My baby girl’s mouth dropped open, her eyes grew as wide as they could, and an instant later she shrieked so loudly that I thought my eardrums might burst.

  “Oh no, honey. It’s just Mommy. Look!” I whipped the blanket off my head and smiled.

  She threw herself on the floor and bawled.

  I scooped her up and carried her into her room.

  As I sat in the rocker with my sobbing child on my shoulder, I closed my eyes. I wanted to be a mother, there was no question about that, but this wasn’t exactly what I’d expected. My days were filled with emotional outbursts, sticky fingers, and toys to trip over.

  When Max got home from work nowadays he was exhausted. He would try to help, but he was just so tired at the end of a long workday.

  I understood how mothers became isolated so easily. It seemed like putting on clothes and making myself presentable was way too much effort, so we stayed home much of the time. The only time I had to write was when Abby was at preschool and after she and Max were both in bed. I felt like I was stealing moments all the time, and that each time my fingertips struck the keys, it was somehow neglect.

  As her cries subsided, her breathing grew heavy. From the weight of her body I could tell that she was asleep. So I was right, she did need a nap. And so did I.

  I carried her to her small bed and curled up in it beside her.

  Life was hard at three. Everything was brand new, shocking, and easily misunderstood. I wondered if she would have nightmares for the rest of her life about pink rhinos. Could it be that she was as bored as I was? Maybe I’d been focusing too much on her being a child and my being an adult. Maybe her desires to explore the world were very similar to my own.

  As I drifted off to sleep beside her, I thought about the book tour offer again. I wanted to see the world. I didn’t want to be cooped up in the house managing my days. I wanted to embrace them, and I wanted Abby to learn to do the same.

  I settled in beside her and whispered about the places that we would one day see.

  Soon I was sound asleep as well.

  Chapter 2

  “Hello? Why is the television on? Sammy? Are you home?”

  I opened my eyes in the diml
y lit room. It took me a few moments to realize where I was. Then I remembered curling up beside Abby. She still slept soundly. Her heavy head on my arm cut off the circulation and my fingers tingled as I tried to move them.

  “In here, Max.”

  He paused in the doorway. “Sleeping this late? She’ll be up all night.”

  “I know, I fell asleep too.”

  “Really, Sammy, she’s got to get on a better schedule—then maybe she wouldn’t be so cranky.”

  “I’m doing the best I can, Max.” I slid my arm out from under her head and climbed over her tiny body to get out of the bed.

  “I know, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” He took my hand and led me out into the living room. “It’s just, I hate to see you struggling so much.”

  “Maybe you could get her up while I make dinner?” I looked into his eyes and saw how dim they were. They were rimmed by dark circles.

  “Sure, I can do that. We can watch that pink rhino show she likes.”

  “Maybe you could play with her?”

  “I’m so tired.”

  “Okay, whatever you want.” I walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinets. The same food stared back at me. It was healthy and delicious but the routine of it was torture.

  I threw a few things together then went to check on Max and Abby. I found Max sound asleep while Abby was pulling numerous items off the shelf. “Max!”

  He snorted and jumped. “What?”

  “You were sleeping. Look what Abby has done.” I frowned as I began to snatch up all the DVDs, tissues, and crumpled-up paper from the floor.

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I think I’m just going to go lie down.”

  “Wait, Max, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  “Can’t it wait until tomorrow? I’m so tired. I just need to lie down for a little while.”

  “Max.” I wrapped my arms around him and looked into his eyes. “What’s going on with you? I thought this job was supposed to be easy?”

  “It was. Until all of the changes. Now I’m doing the jobs of three people, and if I don’t keep up, the entire company is going to collapse.”

  “So maybe it’s time to look for something else.”

  “Sammy, I can’t have this conversation with you again. There aren’t any other jobs out there right now.”

  “That’s not what I mean. What if we did another book tour?”

  “What?” Max’s eyes widened enough that I could see the red lines of exhaustion that zigzagged through the whites of his eyes. “Now? That’s not even possible. With my job and Abby’s school, how can we even consider it?”

  “I could take Abby with me. The tour would be in the U.S.”

  “Absolutely not.” He frowned. “Do you really think I want to be away from my daughter that long?”

  “As it is, you barely get to see her. You come home and see her for maybe a half hour before you go to bed.”

  “So? That half hour is important to me. Why don’t you go on the tour and leave her with me?”

  “I couldn’t be away from her.” I winced at the thought.

  “Well, I feel the same way.” Max shook his head.

  “So why don’t we all go?”

  “Sammy, there’s no way at this point that I could get time off work.”

  “So quit.”

  “Quit?”

  “Yes, quit. You hate that job, Max, so why are you still there? You could quit and we could go on tour together. It would be a great experience.”

  “I can’t just quit. I’m sorry, but for right now that’s out of the question. I really need to go lie down.”

  “What about dinner?”

  “Just save me some, I’ll eat it later.” He headed for the bedroom.

  I sunk down on the couch and watched Abby bat around a tissue. I understood his point, but I didn’t like that he’d just completely taken the option off the table. It was my life too, and I had some say in it.

  Abby smiled at me as she blew the tissue into the air.

  “Good job, Abby. I guess for now we have to make the best of it.”

  Chapter 3

  As I cooked, I couldn’t get the thought of the book tour off my mind. I wanted to discuss it further with Max and see if there wasn’t a way we could make it work. But he was in the shower and I knew how tired he was.

  I had to get Abby fed and bathed. She had a show-and-share day at school the next day and I’d be smart to get the toy selected before she went to bed, because I was pretty sure that she wanted to take them all.

  With the stress of the day piling up on top of me, I knew better than to start a discussion with Max. But as soon as he was out of the shower, I pounced.

  “Why can’t you quit your job?”

  “Sammy.” He sighed and tried to get past me.

  I couldn’t help but admire him in nothing but a towel.

  “I’m going to be late.”

  “If we did another book tour, you would never have to be late.”

  “And what about Abby? Her school?”

  “She’s three, Max. Were you in school when you were three? What better school could there be than the school of life?”

  “I can’t talk about this now, I have to get to work.”

  “That’s just it. Haven’t you noticed that we never have time to talk anymore? How did we get here, Max? Is this really what we want to teach our daughter? That money is more important than actual living?”

  “It isn’t about the money.”

  “Then what is it? Are you happier at work than you are here with us?”

  Max turned back to look at me.

  I immediately regretted my words. There was the most beautiful man on earth with hurt in his eyes.

  “How could you think that?”

  “I don’t.” I grabbed his hand and held it. “I just miss you.”

  “I miss you too. But I made a commitment and I can’t go back on that.”

  “They made a commitment to you too, didn’t they? That your job would be flexible, and you’d still have plenty of time with your family? But they didn’t keep their commitment, so why should you have to keep yours?”

  “That’s different.” He frowned.

  “Is it?” I released his hand and touched his cheek. “When we got married, we promised each other that we’d fight for our marriage, that we would do whatever it took to stay connected and in tune with one another. Now it’s like we’re passing ships with nothing more than exhaustion in common.”

  “I know it’s been rough.” He caught my hand and pressed it against his cheek. “I don’t even feel like me anymore.”

  “Then it’s time to make a change. Whatever you decide it should be. Living like you are isn’t living, Max, it’s surviving, and we’ve worked too hard for too long for that to be our life now.”

  “You’re right.” He sighed and turned his lips into my palm to kiss it. “Let me think about it. Let me get a little sleep and see if I can get my head on straight.”

  “Okay.” I searched his eyes. “If there’s anything I can do to help, you just let me know.”

  “I love you, Sammy.”

  “I love you too, honey.” I kissed him and had to force myself to let him go. I longed for the days when we would spend hours just kissing and caressing each other. Now there was barely time to roll into each other in bed, and sometimes that ended up with one of us on the floor or the couch.

  After Max headed to bed, Abby and I tried to enjoy dinner. She took a bite and scrunched up her nose.

  “Yuck.”

  “Yuck? It’s your favorite.” I frowned. “Try some more.”

  Abby shoved her plate to the edge of the table. “No!”

  “Abby.” I sighed. “You have to eat.”

  “Yucky, Mommy.”

  I took a bite of the food as well. It tasted just like it always did, but I couldn’t help but think yuck too.

  With Max sound asleep and our dinner a flop, I decided it
was a good idea to get us both out of the house and change things up.

  I cleaned Abby up, as she had begun to make art with her dinner, then left Max a note.

  Chapter 4

  As we drove toward a nearby restaurant, I thought about my conversation with Max. It had nearly turned into an argument, and that bothered me. Max and I had disagreements, but we did our best not to argue. The more stress that entered our lives, the less we seemed to connect.

  I carried Abby into the restaurant and requested a table for two and a high chair.

  “I’m sorry, we don’t have high chairs here.” The waiter winced. “Or a children’s menu.”

  “That’s fine, she can eat something off the regular menu.”

  “Of course she can.” The waiter rolled his eyes.

  I stared at him for a moment. Why was he being so rude?

  He led us to a table in the back of the restaurant and slapped down some menus.

  I pulled the other chair next to mine and sat Abby on top of her diaper bag. As I admired my resourcefulness, I barely noticed the stares from the other customers.

  Perhaps in my pre-mommy days, I would have noticed that everyone there seemed to be a couple, and the lighting was low to set a romantic mood. However, in my current dazed state, all I cared about was the delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

  I showed Abby the menu.

  “Want to try something new, sweetie? What do you think?”

  Abby poked at a few of the pictures. “I want these, Mommy.”

  “Can you pick just one?”

  “No!” Her voice rose a little. “I want these.” She poked the pictures again.

  “Okay, we’ll get all three then.” I grinned. I wanted to encourage her to try different things and this seemed like the perfect way to do it.

  Several minutes later, the waiter finally returned. I placed the order for three main dishes and he raised an eyebrow.

  “And for the child?”

  “We’re going to share.”

  “Of course you are.” He rolled his eyes again.

  I gritted my teeth and struggled not to point out his rude behavior.